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Hi everyone. I wanted to check in as I have been pretty vacant on social media again, after hoping to be able to get back into the business swing of things before the arrival of my baba. So I've decided to write this blog post to share a bit about where I'm currently at...

I have totally failed at promoting Copper Myst at what should be the busiest time of year. So I suppose this post is just to share some thoughts and feelings, and to check in with you all as we get close to Christmas time. I'm still here, and I do have big intentions to continue to serve you, my community, in the right way, when the time is right!

Pregnancy has been such a wild journey. In some ways its been so much easier than I thought it would be, and in others so much harder. And I couldn't have predicted which way round these things would be at all...

I thought I'd find it easy to eat well and be healthy and enjoy nourishing my body, as this isn't something I've ever struggled with before - but actually I've found that I just feel really lazy and often not able to take care of my diet. This is something I've stopped beating myself up over.

I thought I'd find it easy to express my thoughts and feelings about things, to write a journal, to record my pregnancy, and to share it all through Copper Myst - to tie it in with my practices like the moon gatherings, and connecting with you all. But I ended up so lazy that I went into a sort of freeze state. A cocoon of just getting on with the basics.

On the other hand, I expected to struggle with the physical changes to my body, but I've not found any physical challenges too stressful or difficult to adapt to.

I've chosen not to treat my pregnancy as a medical event, which has been very liberating. I expected this to be more challenging both practically and emotionally than it has been. However, I've learnt a ridiculous amount of practical knowledge through my own research, and I've learnt how to validate myself for that, rather than feel like I'm not an authority on a subject because I can't 'prove' that I am, rather than feel like I haven't learnt 'enough'. I've learnt to trust in my body and intuition more than I thought I would be able to, and am at total emotional peace with my 'wild pregnancy' (I'm not sure how I feel about this term, but I'm yet to find a better one to describe the choice of having a pregnancy free from medical appointments), and all that it entails for me.

Most of all I've found a deeper sense of faith and surrender, that is bringing me a deep peace. I'm not quite there yet, but I can feel the layers slowly peeling away, to leave me with a sort of blank slate version of me, ready for anything.

Settling in Manchester is another thing that doesn't look how I thought it would. Most of my energy has gone on emotional 'nesting' rather than physically getting things ready, and I'm starting to accept that that was what was necessary for us to get ready for our little Seedling to arrive. I had hoped to engage in the community around here through doing markets and promoting Copper Myst, but the weeks have whizzed by and I haven't really even landed properly yet. I don't get much done that would (by normal standards) be considered constructive, but I'm learning to be okay with that. I'm learning to excuse myself, and to be at peace with this new sloth version of me!

I'm now nearing the end of my pregnancy (the above photo was taken about 4 weeks ago - I'm bigger now!) and have almost totally surrendered to the changes I've been resisting for a long time. I haven't managed to expand and promote Copper Myst this year as I would have liked to - and I think I'm finally over beating myself up about that. I think I was pushing in the wrong direction anyway, and this process of surrender will reveal what I need to be doing, in the right timeframe.

I've basically stopped treating the baby as a kind of deadline, great things (that aren't baby-related) can and will still happen once Seedling is here. I've accepted that I just needed to sit really still in this transition that has been my pregnancy, and I've learnt that it's really hard for me to allow myself to do that. I find it all too easy to 'do nothing', but then I really beat myself up about that sensation, rather than just accepting that that's where I'm at at the moment. I know this stillness is leading me and my business in the right direction, it's just taking a lot longer than I expected for me to start to 'achieve' anything!

So I suppose this post was my way of sort of excusing myself, excusing Copper Myst's absence, and sharing a little bit of my current journey for those who are interested! :-)

I have one more collection of pendants to release before Christmas, I'm doing ONE Christmas market, haha - Lark Lane Makers' Bazaar in Liverpool on the 11th. And if anyone is interested in distance Reiki (on a flexible schedule) then please do get in touch, as this is something I am still offering, alongside in-person appointments at my sister's new business, Motherhub -

Sending lots of love to all of you who have read this! I really look forward to sharing more with you all again through Copper Myst when the time is right.

Amy xxx

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